It’s six weeks since my reconstruction and things are as they should be. I’m still wearing the post-op bra day and night for support. Under the tape – the scars are healing well, that burning pain where the internal stitches were has eased and I’m moving about more freely. The only pain I experience now is when I’ve stretched out too far to reach something, picked up something too heavy or ended up sleeping in an uncomfortable position. Although I can’t feel most of my chest area, feeling is starting to return down my sides and underneath, where the bottom of the bra finishes.
My muscles feel pretty weak, my overall fitness has definitely declined and while I’m trying to get it back by going on walks or doing a few kays on the stationary bike – I’m frustrated at how much that relatively light exercise is taking out of me. Having a nap each day isn’t always a choice – sometimes Paul & I’ll be chatting and he ends up having a conversation with himself!
My appointment with Dr D yesterday was a bit emotional. We ticked off all the important boxes, but spent a bit of time discussing the big picture. It’s obvious my head is now catching up with what the body’s been through.
I’d really like to say how thrilled I am with the ‘new set’ etc. but, I’m not. Pardon me for seeming rude. I’m happy enough – just not jumping for joy. Those who’ve been following my story know how grateful I am, so please don’t take any of this the wrong way. I’m not excited about my ‘breasts’. Let’s be clear – they are, as Dr D promised, the closest he could get to a natural breast mound. The implants are being accepted by my body, are sitting well and look perfectly fine with clothes on.
The reality for me now is to adjust. As I look in the mirror (being thankful for the incredible effort so many people have made to get me to this point), the scars and new shape is a big change to my body. What I must acknowledge is that change = I don’t have cancer. I guess coming to terms with that will probably start to happen now I’m out the other side of treatment.
My greatest fear is that the dreaded C will come back in either the minimal breast tissue I still have, or somewhere else. I don’t intend to let that fear dictate how I live my life from hereon in.
Dr D encouraged me to gradually get back into everything – including swimming! I’m tempted to get in and go crazy (especially seeing as we’re now in the warmer months!), but have promised I’ll be sensible. By that I mean I’ll take it easy for 4-6 months before beginning training for the Masters Games next October. Wont that be a great way to celebrate? For now, my celebration will be to just lay back and enjoy being surrounded by the water.
Encore Performances 
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