It’s fair to say that a cancer diagnosis can bring out the best and worst in people.
Granted – those who have travelled with me since April 23 this year (even back as early as January when I initially went to the Dr about the first lump), have seen the best and worst in me. For the not-so-nice displays of ‘cranky-pants-Carlyle’ – I apologise.
While fessing-up about my highs and lows, let me add there have been times when dealing with others has created a ‘mood’.
Everyone warns you that ‘people don’t know what to say’, they ‘find it hard’ etc. etc. Okay – I get it. What I don’t get is some of the irrational responses and completely insensitive comments some individuals either blurt out or concoct (perhaps in the hope of saying ‘the right thing’, but failing miserably as it just ‘came out wrong’). A clanger delivered with a very straight-face recently was that my four surgeries and the trauma my body has been through was really ‘controlled butchery’. Now – my initial shock quickly turned to an image of Dr D working delicately with scalpel in hand. I’m not too stupid to think that certain elements weren’t very ‘nice’, but comparing his expertise to that of a bloke slicing your lamb cutlets – I felt was a huge insult, to him! Secondly – as I, in my own way, deal with the fact that my breasts have been removed to rid myself of cancer and try not to feel, well mutilated – could this person not have chosen more suitable words? (or just shut the hell up!)
There’s been some remarkable examples of caring, understanding, kindness, thoughtfulness, generosity and compassion from not only my nearest-and-dearest, to new ‘cancer’ or ‘boob’ friends – and also complete strangers. (Like the parking attendant who waved me through with no charge every Wednesday morning after my 3hr session at the Cancer Council. She recognised my ‘floatie’, having used one herself while battling breast cancer years earlier.)
To all of you who have been so wonderful – my sincere thanks. To those who have found it difficult and at least tried – thank you too.
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