….And not for too long.
I know this is only a short stay, under two weeks to enjoy the comforts of home and my gorgeous girls Ch’i, Lila and Phoenix Hope (any excuse for more puppy pics!)
After assessment by Physio and Occupational Therapists, I’m out of hospital with crutches, rather than a wheelchair, rollator or walker.
Good thing hadn’t planned anything else in the time back on the Coast, as I have been unexpectedly sick. Unwell to the point where I actually packed my bag for hospital expecting to be re-admitted. I didn’t feel sick, but all of a sudden was violently ill, repeatedly – for no obvious reason. I had one 24-hour period that is a complete blur of tumbling out of bed to the bathroom, having a ‘few moments’, before crawling back to bed in such a state I could barely believe it. I was heaving nothing, unable to keep a tiny bit of water or electrolytes down (let alone all the medication I have to take) and shaking uncontrollably. Completely exhausted, I willed the day and night to end, so I could catch my breath!
Which brings me to breathing. Ohh such a simple, critical and beautiful life-sustaining act. Countless times, people have asked how I keep getting back up for the next round of ‘misfortune’ I’ve been dealt. To be completely honest with you, more often than not it comes down to just breathing my way through. My daily yoga practice (sadly somewhat altered and less-energetic of late) is my most effective coping strategy (okay – that and a slightly warped sense of humour!) How do I not get completely overwhelmed, lose my cool, or drop my bundle? By choosing to be ‘mindful’ at every opportunity. The term ‘mindfulness’ is quite en vogue, but it’s really just a modern way of describing a behaviour that through the ages and practices such as yoga, Tai Chi and meditation, can be put simply as ‘focusing on the moment’. All sounds a bit ‘new age’ to some, but it’s historical roots can’t be denied. I’m so grateful for my Nana’s influence here. As very young children she taught us (and thousands of others who attended her yoga classes), to breathe, focus our thoughts, be calm in the decision making process and….breathe. My deep affinity with this learned behaviour is something that I have continued to seek out in adult life through readings, classes and courses. It is most definitely a skill, an incredibly valuable one that has helped me navigate some pretty tough challenges. Don’t get me wrong – the odd meltdown still occurs, but is usually rather mild and short-lived.
This ‘hip drama’ has pushed me almost to my limit. I can’t quite put my finger on why though. Perhaps it’s a combination of the timing around my 1st birthday (on which all I wanted to do was celebrate being alive!) and the break-up of my marriage, the physical incapacity, loss of recently regained independence, turmoil of major surgery and all that entails (twice over!)…..not to gloss over the PAIN. My goodness, the intense bone-crushing pain, the searing nerve pain, the all-over hurt my body is experiencing is unrelenting. I’m on a cocktail of pain relief medication courtesy of the Palliative Care and Pain Management experts. Keeping on top of it is so tiring and the drugs are not without their own side-effects. As Pink once sang “……morpheine is making me itch!”
Soon, I’ll have a new left hip, made from a combination of steel, ceramic and plastic. Soon after that surgery, the team will do it all again for my right side.
Time to get back on my feet.
Encore Performances 
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