Tap, tap, tap.

I’ve decided to stop blogging.

Well – truth is I’ve been so slack at it since my Bone Marrow Transplant, I feel guilty.  Reaching this decision really just comes down to facing the fact I’ve been doing a pretty average job at it.

I’m lagging behind with writing about so many things like the Pink Polar Expedition (in support of the McGrath Foundation), speaking at Red Cross events for National Blood Donor Awareness Week, the truly tragic death of my former ‘roomie’ less than three weeks after her BMT, surviving my first cold, re-connecting with friends and family and trying to find the ‘new normal’ following such a long stint in isolation and several near-death experiences… ‘Looking’ better, but feeling decidedly wretched, being abandoned by my husband and feeling loved and welcomed by new friends. Ohh, then there are the ‘quality of life’ issues which present themselves on a daily basis.

There are numerous reasons I’ve been so neglectful of my blog – the main one of course is that I’ve just been too sick.  I know technology is great and can make it easier, but honestly – some days – just thinking straight and getting my thoughts ordered enough to make sense, is a battle.  I am so scattered and at times wonder if I’m totally bonkers with the things that fill my brain.  Let’s just say my headspace has been rather cluttered with arguably some of life’s big ticket items.

Seriously though, I am feeling perhaps this medium has run its course.  Not across the board, but for being the most appropriate outlet to share ‘my story’.  I even hate the way that sounds.  So presumptuous.  Like you must want listen to what I have to say:-/

On some levels, what I’ve shared on this blog is deeply personal (gory pics and all), yet on others – it has barely scratched the surface.

During the harrowing ordeal that was my Bone Marrow Transplant, my Mum helped keep those interested up-to-date with my situation using various social media channels.  They’re a rather effective way of providing a snapshot.  (When my eyesight was so poor I could hardly see, she typed.  When I was unable to speak, we found a way to communicate and she continued to share.)    SM has a place – a pic/comment here and there and I will keep it up – but it’s hardly a comprehensive record.

I had fully intended to go back to blogging, as I had throughout my breast cancer experiences.  But, apart from the cognitive decline and difficulties I encounter with fatigue, there are still a great many side-effects of this transplant, treatment and medications that leave me struggling.

At the same time, as I try to get back on my feet (pun totally intended given my dodgy hip situation!) I am regularly asked to share my ‘story of survival’.  Whenever there’s a request and it is possible I will do this for awareness campaigns, charity events and motivational opportunities.  I feel very strongly about using these experiences for good, in the hope that someone – just one person will benefit, in some small way.

Perhaps though, I could (and maybe should), use the time and energy I have left, to write a more in-depth account? (let’s face it – there are not many of us with such an ‘interesting’ medical history still around to tell their tale).  There are times I feel compelled to document some of these experiences, so others who are facing or are involved in similar situations may find some help, hope or solace.

I have never written a book.  Hell – I wrote and presented radio news three-liners for a living!!  I don’t even know how to begin.    My first thought is to ask those who’ve paid a bit of attention over the years and who may be potential readers, what is it you want to know?  And if you don’t mind indulging me – why?