The trauma of having a Sentinel Node Biopsy (for the first time) will never leave me. I congratulated myself for having made it through that dreadful experience by reassuring myself that I would never have to experience the procedure again.
WRONG!
Same hospital, same doctor, same nurse, same bloody room……..same feelings of utter dread, disbelief and indescribable, unbelievably excruciating pain.
I politely asked if Paul could be in the room with me. When the answer came back as being ‘no, for everyone’s safety…..’ blah, blah. I turned into a pain in the arse patient, firmly, defiantly demanding his presence.
To further complicate things, they also had to perform a ‘hook wire’ procedure, where they use ultrasound to guide a wire directly into the tumour, so it’s easy for the surgeon to identify in theatre.
I sobbed so hard, taking a breath in hurt.
Some things are similar this time around, but the gravity of the situation is different.
I left the rooms where the procedures were done and gingerly headed for the room I would stay in after surgery. I was met by two of the key figures in the recovery from my previous surgeries. Nurses Margaret and Andy (Andrea) both told me they didn’t know what to say.
I was just happy to see their familiar faces.
My sister also came. With her baby Harrison.
Everything is different……
Tags: breast cancer, kate carlyle, treatment